


My Bio Tutor is an Evil Super Villain

by crookedneighbour



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Crack, Collection: Purimgifts Day 3, Community: purimgifts, Crack, Gen, High School, School, Science, Tutoring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-18
Updated: 2013-02-18
Packaged: 2017-11-29 17:12:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/689433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crookedneighbour/pseuds/crookedneighbour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dawn needs a biology tutor because of all the school she's been missing. Turns out it's Poison Ivy. This is crackish nonsense.</p>
<p>There is an unrelated equally crackish image for the recipient at the bottom. Enjoy</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Bio Tutor is an Evil Super Villain

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SailorSol](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorSol/gifts).



Dawn sullenly slinks through the front door of the Summer house. Today is the today she gets to meet her tutor. Because nine hours of torture apparently isn't enough.

She climbs up the stairs on tip toes, placing her feet as softly as she can. Buffy and her new tutor are talking in the kitchen, so maybe if she's really quiet Buffy won't here her.

"And where do you think you're going?" comes from the kitchen, in the sharp obnoxious tone that only her sister can manage.

Stupid Slayer super hearing, always ruining her plans.

Dawn reluctantly trots back down stairs, and drops her backpack on the kitchen counter. When she sees the stranger in the kitchen she is entirely surprised. She assumed Buffy was going to beat some sort of science demon into teaching her, or even worse some weird pimply guy.

Instead there is a tall very pretty woman with long red hair, the same color as Willow's. She has bright green eyes, and is very well dressed. Around her nack is a silver chain with a charm shaped like an ivy leaf.

"You must be Dawn," she posits. Her voice is smooth and incredibly charming. When she shakes hands with Dawn, the room almost smells like flowers.

Dawn nods.

"Yeah..." she mumbles, sheepishly. "Sorry. I just sort of expected you to be--"

"A man?" finishes Ivy. Dawn blushes a bit and looks at the floor.

"Don't be embarassed, sweetie. When people see P. Isley on my papers they always think it stands for something stupid like Phillip or Peter."

"It looks like you two are hitting it off. I'll just pop out and leave you to it then," says Buffy, clearly pleased. 

As her sister leaves, Dawn settles into a chair at the kitchen table, absent midnedly. Before she knows it her books are open.

"What does it stand for? The P..."

"Pamela. My name is Dr. Pamela Isley. I study botany and ecology."

"That sounds..." starts Dawn. She expects that she's going to say boring next, but somehow the word doesn't come out. It actually seems kind of cool. She probably gets to work with all kinds of rare plants and flowers.

"Interesting," continues Dawn.

Pamela smiles at this and places her hand on Dawn's shoulder.

"I'm glad you think so, Dawn," she coos. She joins Dawnat the kitchen table and points to one of the photographs in the book.

"Do you see that? asks Pamela. 

The plant in the photgraph is a large red flower. There are white flecks on its fleshy petals, and in the center of it is a large black opening. Dawn has never seeen anything like it before. Nothing has ever been so bright and spectacular. It's almost godlike even.

"That's... Beautiful..."

Dawn stares at the photo, stupefied.

"That's Rafflesia arnoldii. More commonly known as the corpse flower," lectures Pamela. "Rather than emitting a sweet scent, it's perfume resembles the odor of rotting flesh. This is to attract insects to prey on."

This is the first time Dawn has ever thought something related to corpses and insects was this awesome. Usually stuff like that is super gross. Instead, the plant is just like really smart. They could maybe use it to catch demons. Yeah, a demon catching plant. She has to tell Buffy! This will change everything. 

Pamela is so smart to show her this.

"Doc-doc-doctor Isley," stutters Dawn. "We need to tell Buffy... About the plant!"

Dr. Isley places her hand on Dawns, and looks her straight in the eyes. Pamela has such green eyes.

"Why Dawn?"

And her voice is pretty.

"So she can use it to slay demons! Because she's the Slayer," exclaims Dawn, proud of her insightful idea.

"Really now?"

Something about Pamela's voice changes, and Dawn is suddenly nervous. What if Dr. Isley is a demon? Or a vampire? No. She's too nice to be a vampire. But Spike's noce sometimes.

All this thinking is making Dawn's head start to hurt. Fortunately, Buffy knocking the kitchen door almost off it's hinges solves that.

"Don't you touch her," snaps Buffy, now in full on defensive vampire killing older sister mode. 

Dr. Isley's skin starts to change from a pinkish shade to a deep green.

She turns to Dawn.

"Sleep."

Suddenly Dawn's eyelids are heavy, and her thoughts even heavier. It smells like roses. Lots of roses. And meat... Lots of me...

When Dawn wakes up she's in her bedroom. Buffy and Willow are both watching over her.

"What happened?" she slurs, still a bit foggy headed.

"It appears you were right, all teachers are secretly evil," offers Buffy, matter of factly.

"Did you kick her butt, atleast?" 

Buffy smiles and squeezes Dawn's hand.

"Of course I did. I'm the slayer. Kicking butt is what I do."

"Thanks."

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually my first Buffy fic. Hope it was ok.


End file.
